Stupid Effin' Birdie
by Abbergails
Summary: Rated M for content and/or language  probably in later chapters . Matthew is suicidal and decides to end it all, until a certain albino finds him. It may be slightly triggering. This is my first fantfiction EVAAARRR, so please don't hate it!
1. Chapter 1

_Stupid Effin' Birdie_

_Disclaimers: I OWN NOTHING –sobs-_

_Enjoy~~_

I looked out the window of the meeting room. It was actually pretty nice out. The word 'dinosaur' caught my eye, and I looked up. There was Alfred, at the podium, rambling. No one ever pays attention to what he says anymore. Well, Arthur does, but that's because they're dating. I resumed staring mindlessly out the window. We were pretty high up today. Why did Alfred have to choose this building? The temptation is eating away at me.

Suicide isn't a thought that's new to me, sadly. No one notices me, and when they do, it's only because they want something from me. So, if I just got up and walked out and never came back, would they notice?

I decided to test it. I am sick of living this way. I stood up and walked towards the door. Once my hand was on the doorknob, I glanced towards everybody. France, my 'Papa', Arthur, my 'father figure', and Al, my 'brother'. They don't even bother to look my way. I turned the doorknob and walked out, half slamming it closed behind me.

Something that I didn't notice was a certain albino eying me worriedly right before I walked away.

_-PAGEBREAK-_

I stood next to the edge. Maybe if I jumped off of the Brooklyn Bridge, Alfred would finally notice me. I nervously looked around, making sure no one was watching. I realize now how stupid that was; seeing as being 'invisible' was the reason I was in this predicament. I hopped the railing, careful not to slip and fall. Falling to my death wouldn't have quite the same effect.

I took a deep breath and looked down to the water. Was I really going to do this?

"Yes, I am." I whispered to myself. I took one step forward and was about to fall when I heard someone screaming.

"WHAT THE **FUCK** DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" I turned around and there he was. He stared at me, eyes filled to the brim with rage, hurt, and one other thing that I couldn't quite put my finger on. He continued to glare at me for a while before saying, "Get your ass back over the railing right _now_, you stupid fucking birdie."

So, of course I couldn't just jump with him right there. I got the feeling that he might jump in after me. I just couldn't figure out why…

He broke me out of my thoughts by clearing his throat and gesturing for me to 'get the hell over the railing.' I was about to climb back over when my foot slipped. For a moment, everything was slowed down. And at the same time, three things happened.

I started to fall.

I heard Gilbert scream something unintelligible.

He grabbed my arm, and stopped me from falling to my death.

I stared at him while I hung. His eyes were full of something else now, pure fear.

He pulled me up over the edge and before I could say anything, he pulled me into a hug. I started to cry, and he stroked my hair lightly.

"Don't ever do that to me again…" He chocked out.

Well, there it was. My first fanfiction ever….


	2. Chapter 2

I wrote another chapter for two reasons. One, because a lot of people favorited this story and commented on it within a day of posting it and it gave me a confidence boost to the fuckin moon. Two, because I couldn't just leave off there. I don't know weather to leave it at this or to continue it a little while more. Please give me some advice? Also, should I change the rating?

Okai, enjoy the chapter (please?)

I stared into his eyes, still in awe that he cared. No, it was more than caring. He just saved my _life_. I was, as usual, broken from my train of thought when he gently grabbed my hand, fingers interlocking in mine. It felt nice…

"Mattie, will you tell me why?" He asked softly. My eyes widened, and my heart stopped for a second or two. Why? _Why_ I tried to kill myself? What was I supposed to do? Lie, tell the truth, both had pros and cons. Instead of answering, I squeezed his hand. I didn't want to say something that might upset him and make him leave, and saying nothing at all was what I was good at. But, unfortunately for me, he wouldn't accept that answer. "Birdie, tell me, please?"

"I…I don't know." I lied. Of course I knew, but I don't want to tell him. If I just come out and say, 'Oh, hey Gilbert, I tried to jump off of a bridge because nobody notices me!' He would just say something along the lines of him caring and always caring and blah blah sappy cliché. Oh god, now I'm starting to sound like Alfred.

"Don't give me that, Mattie. I know you know why, I just don't know why you won't tell me." Damn it, why won't he just let this go? I sighed, and looked at the ground. I mentally prepared myself for the countless upcoming cliché's and mumbled.

"Because no one notices me." It felt surprisingly good to say that out loud, and with a bit of confidence I spoke louder, "No one cared when I left the room. No one spared a look towards me. No one remembers me. Hell, I'm nearly invisible!" By the end of my small rant, I was out of breath. Who knew mumbling could so quickly turn to shouting?

He looked at me and let go of my hand, hurt obvious in his expression. "No one noticed? What the fuck are you talking about? If anyone doesn't notice things it's _**YOU**_, Mattie!" He shouted back at me, "I've been watching you since the day after that Russian creep sat on you! I saw how much that upset you, and you say that no one notices? I got up the minute you left the meeting room today, because I knew that look. That was a look of, 'This is the last time I'll see this.', and I may be a little thick sometimes, Mattie, but I'm AWESOME and I'm not stupid. And I love you." The last four words had barely left his mouth when mine fell open. He loved me?

"R…Really?" I asked him, my eyes filling with hot tears. This is ridiculous, he doesn't love me. I bet he's just saying that to make me feel better. He nodded and wiped my tears with his thumb. It was then that I looked around and realized how many people were staring at us. Apparently he had noticed this, too because he leaned down and kissed me on the cheek while flipping of random pedestrians.

"Let's talk about this over dinner, okay? My treat." I nodded at him and we started to walk down the road, hand in hand.

_Well…This didn't turn out the way I planned…_

__Well, there you go. I worked really hard on this one, too! Please, don't hate it -3-


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: The Date

People staring. Why are people always staring?

But they weren't staring at me. Not by a long-shot. They were staring at the albino that just confessed to me less than an hour ago. The stares struck a nerve in me, was that jealousy? I could definately see the lust in the eyes of some young girls, and in some men. I wanted to go up to them and scream into their faces that Gilbert was _mine_. But of course, my timid nature prevents me from even looking them in the eye.

Wait, _was_ he mine? My mind began to race, thoughts of "Is he my boyfriend" and "Maybe he was just saying that" popping up. Suddenly, I felt his hand squeeze mine gently. As if he could read my thoughts, he gave me a reassuring look. My heart skipped a beat. He loves me, there's no doubt in my mind.

We got to the restaurant, _Chez Francis_. Of course, he would take me to Francis' restaurant. The Bad Touch Trio always does things like that.

My mind goes back into hyper drive. If Gilbert and I begin dating, would I have to hang out with the Bad Touch Trio? Would they start to notice me? Would ANYONE start to notice me?

He held the door open for me, and we went in. It smelled odd, like grease and something else that I couldn't put my finger on. A waitor lead us to his table, but he only brought one menu.

_Of course._

We sat across from each other, but after Gilbert 'awesome-ly' scolded him for not bringing two menus. The waitor apolagized, but to Gilbert. Again, I wanted to yell. To get it all out of my system. But I couldn't, and I felt my cheeks heating up in embarressment. Why can't I just do things like telling people how I feel? What am I afraid of?

I shook my head, trying to focus on the menu. It was mostly in french, and Gil didn't understand it. He continuously asked me what words like 'beurre' and 'pain' meant. For once, I regretted speaking French. If people had bothered to notice me long enough to ask me things, I might not be bothered by his nagging. But, despite my annoyance, I would answer as politely as I could.

After what seemed like two hours of translating everything on the menu, we finally were ready to order. After he ordered (then ordered for me, because the waitor forgot that I was sitting there), he reached across the table and grabbed my hand. He was probably just realizing the irritated expression on my face, because he cocked his head slightly and his eyebrows furrowed together.

I couldn't hold back my soft chuckles when he made that face. Being albino really made some of his facial expressions funny. He smiled when I laughed, and I immediatly stopped.

"What?" I asked. I don't know what was causing the sudden paranoia.

Yes, I do. It was because I had nothing in life before, and now that I have Gil I couldn't bare to lose him. I wouldn't let that happen.

"You just have the most awesome laugh, Birdie." I rolled my eyes at the nickname he insists on using, but the action was pointless once the dark blush spread over my cheeks. He was about to say something when the food came. I silently thanked whatever God was watching over me, because I really don't want to hear about my blush or how 'awesome' it was. I mean, I loved Gilbert and everything, but when everything is 'awesome', it ruins the meaning of the word. But, if he can handle me, then I can handle him.

I ate quickly, barely enjoying my food. It wasn't that I was in a rush, but I just wanted to leave. The stares people were giving Gilbert, the fact that I was still invisible to the rest of the world...

...And the fact that out of the corner of my eye, I saw my brother come in. Alfred, the one person I would rather avoid. Especially since I was aware of the rivalry between Al and Gilbert that began a few months ago.

So, I did what I always do. I hid. I purposely lowered my head slightly and scooched into the booth more. I didn't want Al to see me with Gilbert. Not yet, at least. I tried to make myself as invisible as possible. But, of course, my attempts were in vain.

"Hey, Mattie, you okay?" Gilbert asked, far too loud for my liking.

And I swear, I could _hear_ Alfred whip his head towards us.

And he saw. He saw me curled up in the booth. He saw Gilbert across from me. He saw our fingers entwined with one another. He saw me blushing.

And at that moment, Francis' restaurant was most likely the unluckiest of all New York.


End file.
